越來越愛!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Don't forget to be happy.
12:12 AM

It's been a long while since I last blogged here.

I guess no one visits this site any more. So am I entitled to say everything that I want to say?

Prelim results killed me, utterly. One question's left, "What now?"

I really don't know how to continue from here. I need a break from reality. I want to go on a holiday. It's not the right time, I know.

University? Day by day, I'm losing hope of getting into a university. I guess even those private universities won't want to take me in. That's how bad my grades are. My highest grade is my GP, which is a D.

I hate myself more and more each day.

Give me a reason to keep on believing.

Give me a reason to hope.

Too many ifs.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

At least the pain will come to an end-- Can you love me, Lu Xue Rui
10:38 PM

I can't believe I cried listening to this song.
And no, I'm not some emotional person who can cry as and when.

A levels <180 days. Okay, I should be worried and start mugging, right?
Study!

Too many ifs.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I'm delirious-- Love you anyway, Boyzone
1:42 AM

Trying to move to my livejournal and finally leave this blog, but I think in less than 2 weeks I'd be back here, heh.

Had dinner with Renee, Lin Yu, Januver, Li Ming, Jun He and Mervyn. And did crazy things. Okay I'm lazy to write here since I've already wrote in my LJ. I feel kind of bad actually, oh well.

http://onetwozerotwo.livejournal.com

Too many ifs.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Turn back the clock
8:46 PM

I'm no longer the organised me that I was in secondary school.

Things to do, URGENTLY:
1. Math APGP assignment due, er, today.
2. Math Remedial assignment due, *insert cheeky smile*, today.
3. Math Vectors Tutorial 16.2 due this week, phew!
4. Physics mock SPA due, *insert guilty face*, last week.
5. Revise physics SPA for mock test tomorrow! (AHHHHH!)
6. Photocopy GP answers & collect GP notes from photocopying shop, which was supposed to be done, eh, last week. (Sorry!)
7. Econs Essay due last Thursday.

& I wonder how I'm going to complete all these by tomorrow.
*Insert screams*
I need a life.

"Oh my goodness, your dark eye rings are really like charcoal!"
--", thanks.

Too many ifs.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

看开吧！
10:41 PM

不是每一次的摔倒都能重新站起來。
不是每一次的傷害都能被原諒，彌補。
不是每段情節終究會成爲童話故事。
不是每一夜都會擁有明天的太陽。
當然。。。
不是每一段痛苦會持久一輩子。
不是每一段路要一個人孤獨走完。
不是每一次的失敗都沒有第二機會。
不是每個故事會畫上據點。

Happy Birthday Vanessa =D

Too many ifs.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I no longer feel anything -- Exit, Jiro Wang & band (ToGetHer)
9:38 PM

My A Chord CD just came today, and I realised, he's Christian! It's rare to see Taiwanese singers, or singer for that matter, to be Christian. Anyhow, watched Knowing with Rachel yesterday and it was raining so heavily. Iluma's actually a very spacious shopping mall, and smells like some furniture store, heh. It's a rather nice place!

Argh, anyway, I am losing my worksheets like free. I did my binomial exercise more than twice and I still lost it. Besides, I've lost a couple of physics worksheets before this and I'm getting pissed. Now I have to do double the work all over again. Oh well, I've only got myself to blame.

This week's going to be hectic.

I need strength to continue, really.

Too many ifs.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Fahrenheit!
10:03 PM

So they stopped by Singapore for just 2 days. Managed to attend all of their events in Singapore this time round. =D Felt bad leaving welfare meeting early though, so now of course I'll have to try to make it up to them.
Anyway, on Sunday morning, the few of us cabbed to IMM, and reached at about 7.30am, and the queue was already quite long. Thankfully we weren't "stored" in the warehouse, though we were almost the last row in the garden plaza. It rained, and of course we got kind of wet. It was seriously chaotic and the squeezing helped to make things worse. My poor shoes were so wet and cold, I almost lost feeling of my own feet.
Rachel and I then cabbed to St James Power House for some celebration party thing. The man said I could take back my ticket, but in the end, he didn't allow. The ticket was really nice, and I wanted to keep it so badly. GRRRR. The place was really cold and my shoes were still soaking wet, which means my whole legs were like ice bars. Anyhow, got home at about 11 and had a sweet dream, okay no.
Monday's Campus Superstar invited Fahrenheit as guest performers. Two of the songs are recorded but one was broadcasted life. I think one of the songs will be broadcasted in next week's results show.
So, all my money was spent on taxi fare. I easily spent more than $30 on taxi fare, but I don't wish to calculate, otherwise I might get a shock.
School's tiring, and it's tough to keep up with the pace.

Too many ifs.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

31st VS 32nd Captain's Ball & Soccer Match!
9:04 PM

The guys actually strategised!

31st vs 30th on 10.5.08! (Notice how Januver is always carrying the ball in both photos)
Compare the last 2 photos! HAHAHA.
Anyway I went to school today with the intention of just cheering for 31st, and was so shocked when I saw only 6 girls in the SC. That means I have to play. Thank God more came and so I didn't have to play, but in the end, I played 2nd quater and a bit of the 3rd one, and I'm really sorry for all the missed balls and violence! Really didn't mean it!
The sun was scorching and the girls were playing in the hot afternoon sun. The guys were really supportive and stood in the sun with us as well. The final score, 75-35. Ha, to think we didn't train for this.
The guys soccer match was interesting as well. The 31st guys have met their competitors. Last year the guys won smoothly, but this year it was a tough fight. Lin Yu, Yuqi and I were "refree" after Jeriel left, and when Yuqi left, Hui Ying joined us. I guess it really is an experience for us, being unqualified refrees, knowing probably less than what a 5 year old boy know about soccer.
After that a few of the 31st stayed behind to clean the SC again, and it was really clean, unusually clean! Some 32nd were still around and so had a chat with them and went home. And today I got to know more of them!
I guess I'm glad I came after all. It was a good match, and probably a good bonding time too.

Too many ifs.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Give, like you've received the riches of the earth
10:20 PM

Service learning at Chen Su Lan Methodist home today. Elizabeth and I had to clean all the ceilings of the home, and our necks were aching just cleaning the first level! Thankfully there were only three levels (adding the car park level).

S23 & S24!

After that, we went to RK house to have lunch and celebrate Hannah's birthday! Oh and cause we perspired so much, I went home to wash up and change and got there probably only 5 minutes after they reached RK house!

Later on, about 3/4 of the class went to Cathay together, and half the class caught Confessions of a Shopaholic. Heh, I had a hard time convincing the guys to watch that movie since midweek! Thankfully, most of us actually enjoyed the movie. It's a touching chick fling and I wouldn't mind catching it again, just that there are still so many movies that I want to catch (Knowing, 17 Again, Ghosts of the past girlfriends).

We decided that it was still early and went to bowl at Farrer Park. A series of funny things happened, of course!

Look at my score, it's the first time I actually played well enough! It's the one above the red highlighted score. Spare, Spare, Strike! Of course in the 2nd round of games, I kept getting 0, 1.

This is really funny, Matthew was rolling the ball with his two hands!

All in all, today is a real fruitful day and the class definitely had a great time bonding with each other. I wonder how long all these will last though. After all, all good things must come to an end. I just hope it doesn't end too soon.

Too many ifs.

Friday, March 20, 2009

We are more than we think we are
9:00 PM

*** says:
it's lile sometime when i do sth
*** says:
it isnt recognise lor
*** says:
then i feel very sad
*** says:
then i feel helpless also
Aaye-lynn;/ Science removes your ignorance says:
I understand.
Aaye-lynn;/ Science removes your ignorance says:
But then you must also remember, a councillor's job is never recognised by student body, hardly recognised by teachers (unless you really do something WOW), sometimes recognised by exco, often recognised by close friends, but fully recognised by yourself.
*** says:
but it isnt fair that it is always the same person who gets the regconition of others when you yourself did equally the same thing...
Aaye-lynn;/ Science removes your ignorance says:
The world isn't fair, my child!
Aaye-lynn;/ Science removes your ignorance says:
At the end of it, what you really gain is not the recognition people give you. It doesn't last long. What you take away from it, is the experience, the friendship and all the lessons learnt. Isn't that what matters?
*** says:
yeah
*** says:
talk to you
*** says:
then becoem so kai qiao

Xinying says I'm wise! =D
Okay la, I think not, but then, rarely do I speak like that, so let me have that 1 minute of fame, heh! Studied with Ronald in school these 2 days, and I'm glad I managed to do all my MCQ in the TYS for Pheesicks. Ronald is a stress-bomb. He can study for 15 minutes and cover half the syllabus for bio, and then taking naps inbetween. Oh and Ronald doesn't know there's delivery charge for McDonalds! HAHAHAHA. Okay I think he's going to kill me for all these.

Saw the 32nd in school today and talked to 2 of them. =D Honestly, I still can't recognise more than half (especially the guys), but I think they're a friendly bunch of people! And they made Ronald sing "Onward Christian Soldiers" which Ronald made me sing to him a few times. Reminds me of our commendation practices. Not sure if those memories were pleasant or otherwise.

I should have a count down clock to A levels, so I'll probably scream and freak out at the few months I have left and then maybe I'll start studying, harder. Or not. I'd probably just go "Uh!" and then continue dreaming about Aaron, Jiro, Calvin, Jay Chou ... (and the list goes on).

--
Somehow, I'm always in the mood for emo chinese songs. Earlier on, I was trying to recall my whole time in SAJC, and though most experiences weren't exactly great, I think, I still enjoyed my 1 year + here. Everytime something is going well, something dumb has to come up.

Academics, friends, council, somehow, I had too many shortcomings. Humans err, but why is it so difficult to rectify something that has gone wrong? Not all mistakes can be forgiven, probably. Not all mistakes will be given a second chance. Not all misery will ultimately turn into happiness. Not all hate can turn into love. Not all imperfections can be accepted. Not all evils can be washed away. Not all sins can be understood.

I secretly wondered how my life would be if I accepted my DSA. Choir, student's council, judo, compulsory weekend study session, I think, I wouldn't survive. Then again, what about the social aspect? Maybe it's there where I could have started from scratch, since I think no PL Lites went there. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for the people I've met in SA, and I won't excahange them for anything else.

Maybe I shouldn't set expectations. The greater the expectations, the harder you fall.
If only I had one more chance to make it all right.
Please don't be mistaken, I'm still a very much satisfied student and generally a little happy about my life. =D

Too many ifs.